越来越多的后妈们想摆脱世俗成见，与生母争夺在孩子心中的地位，“我”却坦然地接受现实，自得于“后妈”这一称谓带来的好处。
Somethingisgoingoninthestepmotheringcamp. Callitanuprising, orarebranding.[1] TherewasthestoryaboutthewomaninAustraliawhowenttocourttopreventherdaughtercallingherstepmother “MummyD”. Itwasasmalliteminthenews—oneofthosedesignedtomakeyoumarvelatthepettinessofdivorcedcouples[2]—butlookcloselyandthereissomethingelsegoingonhere. Amotherbattlingtomaintainheruniquestatus. Astepmotherwhoimaginessheisnodifferenttoabirthmother, andwantstorewritehistorywithhercentrestageinthefamilyportrait[3].
Iamastepmother. I’mnotcrazyabouttheterm—thesteppartmakesitsoundcoldandhard, nottomentionallthenegativebaggagethatgoeswithit—butitservesausefulpurpose, whichistoclarifyexactlywhereIstandinrelationtomystepchildren, andtheytome.[4] Iamnotmystepchildren’smother. Ididnotgivebirthtothem. Ihadnotevenmetthemuntiltheywereintheirteens. Thosearetheplainfactsandtheyarethesortoffactsyoumesswithatyourperil[5]. WhatIamisafull-timeparent—someonewhofulfilsamotherlyroleintheirlivesonadailybasis. Iamtheonewhobandagesthecuts, buysthespotcream, answersthehomeworkquestions, takesthemclothesshopping, getstheirhaircut, andnagsthemtoshower.[6] I’vedonemyshareofdelousingandstandingonthetouchlineintherain, separatingfights, clearingupsickandtalkingthroughvariousproblems, fromobliviousgirlstotrunkrash.[7] It’smewhogetsthephonecallaftertheexam. Mewhosobsatairportswhentheydisappearongapyears[8] andmewhoworrieswhentheyaren’thomeontime. Still, I’mnottheirmother. Iamsomethingimportant, butsignificantlydifferent. Iamtheirstepmother.